There really is a huge number of fetishes and sexual preferences that people enjoy. Some are simple, some are a little bizarre, and some are a little unusual. What is important is that everyone is consenting and everyone is having fun. One of the most common yet least talked about fetishes is DDLG. This is a complete DDLG beginner’s guide.
DDLG Beginner’s Guide – What is DDLG
This DDG beginner’s guide has been designed to help those who are new to this fetish and those who are experienced yet looking for new ideas. If you are interested or simply curious about a DDLG relationship you are in the right place.
What is DDLG?
In the most simple of explanations DDLG is a sexual fetish. It has some similarities with BDSM. DDLG stands for Daddy Dom, Little Girl. This sexual fetish is where a consenting couple explore the relationship between a parent and a child. Primarily this fetish involves a male father figure and a female child. However, these roles are also commonly reversed.
As you may suspect DDLG relationships generate a lot of controversy. This is mainly because they can involve a sexual element which many people find uncomfortable. It is important to point out that DDLG relationships take place between consenting adults. As long as both parties are fully grown adults and consenting there is nothing wrong or immoral about this form of relationship or fetish.
DDLG is most certainly a very specific type of role-play and fetish. Even though it happens to be a very specific fetish it also shares elements that are found in other fetishes. Here is an example of fetishes which bare similarities to DDLG :-
- Dominance and Submission :- This is where one partner issues rules that the other is expected to follow.
- Punishments :- These are administrated by the dominant partner in the relationship. They are typically administrated when the submissive partner fails to follow the rules that have been set.
- Costumes and Outfits :- They can be worn by one or both partners depending on the preferences of the couple and relationship.
- Sexual Play :- This can take place during role-play.
- Ageplay :- A very specific form of role-play where couples act much younger or older than they actually are.
- Power Exchanges :- This involves one person within the relationship taking on much more responsibility than the other. They also will take more control over the other.
What most people do not realise is that you do not have to participate in all of these elements to enjoy DDLG. In fact you do not really have to participate in any of these things. It is perfectly acceptable, if not extremely common, to create your own scenarios and elements. Many people begin to explore DDLG relationships simply by including only very specific elements of such a relationship. It is important that everyone finds their own level of comfort and enjoyment when it comes to a fetish based relationship.
What is a Daddy Dom?
The first role we will look at in this DDLG beginner’s guide is the Daddy Dom. A Daddy Dom is the male and more dominant partner in the relationship. It is important to realise that despite the name it is not always a male role. If the woman takes on the more dominant role in a DDLG relationship she would be referred to as a Mommy Dom.
A BDSM relationship is slightly different to this. In a BDSM relationship the dominant partner will usually exercise their power over the submissive partner. This allows them to control, exploit, and restrict the submissive partner. Many people find this kind of relationship worrying. However in the confines of a BDSM relationship this allows the submissive partner the chance to satisfy certain desires. Those desires are to experience and enjoy the negative thoughts and emotions as part of a BDSM role-play.
When you look at a DDLG relationship things are slightly different. There is still a dominant partner. However the difference is that the dominant partner will take on the role of a parent. their job will then be to make their partner feel safe, secure, loved, and cared for. For those engaging in a DDLG relationship this role-play is every bit as rewarding as any other form of relationship.
What is a Little?
Now this DDLG beginner’s guide will look at the submissive partner in this kind of relationship.
While the dominant or caregiver partner in a DDLG relationship is referred to as a Daddy Dom or Mommy Don the submissive partner is referred to as a Little. A Little takes on the role of the child and allows themselves to be cared for by their Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom.
The role of a Little offers a lot more freedom than the Daddy or Mommy role. This is because the Little can decide the age of their character and what type of child they will be and how they will act. When a Little explores their personality it is referred to as being in their “Little Space”.
There is a the chance to be 100% free and fully immersed in the role-play when a Little explores Little Space. Adult life and rules are, in the majority of cases, put aside. This allows the Little to be taken care of by Daddy or Mommy Dom. Rather than worrying about taking care of themselves the Little is able to follow whichever desires happen to enter their head. Such thoughts and desires may include playing with toys, dolls, coloring, or even just a simple hug from Mommy or Daddy Dom.
What is a Caregiver?
The Caregiver in a DDLG relationship is another form of authority figure. This authority figure is often referred to CG for short.
As you may suspect at this part of this DDLG beginner’s guide the Caregiver in a DDLG relationship will be the partner who has taken on the Mommy or Daddy role. In some cases another party can be brought into the relationship to act like a caregiver. They may do this very much like a babysitter would be asked to take care of a real child. Some people decide they want to explore a DDLG relationship this way. Instead of having a Mommy or Daddy as an authority figure the Little has a Caregiver instead.
It is fair to say that the role of Caregiver is primarily in control within the relationship. What the Caregiver gets out of a DDLG relationship is a little complicated.
In most cases DDLG role-play focuses on allowing the Little to explore their character. This means a Little actually holds much more power than a submissive in a BDSM relationship ever will. A Little has the ability to direct and change the role-play as they desire. Of course this works as long as a Little remains within the rules which have been set by the Caregiver.
The Caregiver in a DDLG relationship gets more rewards when compared to a Dom in a BDSM relationship. In a BDSM Dom will take pleasure in what they are able to inflict on their partner. A Caregiver is able to be lavished with attention and praise. This happens because a Little will most likely be grateful for the care they are given. As a result of this gratefulness a Little will most likely want to thank their Caregiver. This is usually done by wanting the Caregiver to play with them, hug them, or even engage in sexual activity with them. However a Little shows their appreciation it will allow the Caregiver to become much more intimately engaged in the role-play.
A DDLG relationship is very much a team effort. Caring for others can be a remarkably rewarding experience. Is it not human nature for us to want to care for others?
How Common is DDLG?
Regardless of whether you have heard of DDLG relationships before you may well be wondering one thing. how common are DDLG relationships? The truth is these types of relationships are much more common that you will likely have imagined. DDLG relationships are also something that more and more people are beginning to explore each and every day.
There is much debate surrounding whether or not people who enjoy DDLG suffer certain psychological issues. In most cases it is thought that some people have experienced difficult childhoods. It is certainly more likely a person will enjoy some form of DDLG if they come from a home where at least one parent was absent. Engaging in a DDLG relationship or scenarios allow people to explore things they did not experience as a child. In fact it is thought that such scenarios and relationships can actually help people deal with certain issues. Especially issues which were experienced during their childhood.
However, it is most certainly worth pointing out that plenty of people who enjoy DDLG have experienced totally normal childhoods. If you think about this it is hardly surprising. After all how many of us enjoy collecting toys, action figures, and video games that remind us of our childhoods.
The only real difference between having a glimpse back to your childhood and a DDLG relationship is that a relationship is often more intense. A DDLG relationship is also much more social as it allows us to share with a partner.
While DDLG relationships are certainly becoming more common this fetish is still difficult for many people to accept. Because this fetish involves one partner acting like a child it is not uncommon for people to look down on it. For this very reason it is understandable a DDLG couple will choose to keep this form of role-play to themselves. This in turn leads to this fetish appearing much less common than it actually is.
Why Do People Enjoy DDLG?
Since you have come this far in this DDLG beginner’s guide you will most likely be wondering why people enjoy this fetish.
Well, this type of relationship can deliver an experience of wonderful freedom. Many people who enjoy the role of a Little will feel unconfident in their adult life. When they take on the role of the Little they feel much more confident within themselves. They enjoy simple things such as playing with toys and other routines associated with the life of a child.
As we have already pointed out this type of relationship is all about consent between adults. Therefore a DDLG relationship is not just about the enjoyment for the Little. The Daddy Dom or Mommy Dom will usually really enjoy themselves. They usually enjoy things like treating their Little like a princess or prince. Expanding on that they may well enjoy the attention and gratefulness they receive in return. There is also the concept that the position of power is something an adult character will enjoy. In a DDLG relationship many Daddy or Mommy Doms enjoy controlling the lives of a Little. They also enjoy the process of administering punishments when a Little misbehaves.
The DDLG Vocabulary
A truly important section of this DDLG beginner’s guide is the vocabulary used by people who enjoy this lifestyle. Because many people judge those who enjoy this fetish the DDLG community has devised various terms that may not be completely obvious. Here are some of the common terms used in a DDLG relationship and what they actually mean.
- DDLG :- Daddy Dom / Little Girl
- MDLB :- Mommy Dom / Little Boy
- DDLB :- Daddy Dom / Little Boy
- MDLG :- Mommy Dom / Little Girl
- Little :- A Little takes on the role of a child in a DDLG relationship.
- Middle :- If someone is referred to as a Middle they tend to be very similar to a Little. The main difference is a Middle will usually be a little older and enjoy exploring a teenager role.
- Daddy Dom / Daddy :- The male in the relationship. This person takes on a parental role looking after and caring for the Little.
- Mommy Dom / Mommy :- The Mommy in a DDLG relationship is a female who takes on the parental role.
- CG (Caregiver) :- A Caregiver is someone who takes care of and responsibility for a Little or Middle. It is the job of the Caregiver to make sure their partner is safe, cared for, provided for, and punished if necessary.
- Little Space :- This is a term used to describe when a Little enters a state of mind where they begin their role-play. While the Little Space can feel exceptionally vulnerable. When a Little is in Little Space they should feel free to explore all the feelings associated with this role. They should do this however they choose without any judgement from anyone else.
- Headspace :- This shares many similarities to Little Space. Headspace is a specific frame of mind which someone will enter when they take on a certain role. The main difference between the two is Headspace is much more general than Little Space. It is more commonly used when describing a frame of mind associated with pretty much all kinds of BDSM scenes.
- Ageplay :- This is where a person or couple will enjoy exploring roles where they are different ages to their actual age.
- Little Age :- This is simply the age a person role-playing as a Little will decide to be.
- Rules :- Pretty much all BDSM based relationships will have a set of rules. These rules are usually set for the submissive partner to follow. Rules can pretty much cover anything as long as everyone is consenting. They can include things such as stating how the submissive partner must behave to what they must wear.
- Punishments :- In most scenarios punishments are an important if not essential part of a BDSM relationship. They are used to punish the submissive partner should they break out any rules that have been laid out by the dominant partner.
- BDSM :- Bondage, Dominance, Submission, Sadism, and Masochism.
- Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC) :- The phrase SSC is what is used throughout the BDSM community. It is used to describe the perfect kind of relationship where everything is safe for all parties. There is no psychological trauma and everything is agreed by everyone involved in the relationship.
- Safe Word :- Possibly one of the most important things in any form of fetish relationship is the safe word. This safe word is used to immediately stop whatever is happening. It is used when one partner feels things are going too far far their liking. A safe word should be something unusual. By using an unusual word the submissive partner can still act like they are not enjoying things and wanting to stop without things actually stopping. The second the safe word is used everything must stop in an instance.
- Contract :- A contract is another important part of any BDSM based relationship. By creating a contract a couple is able to discuss and agree what will be involved in the relationship. Usually a contract will include details of what activities are allowed an not allowed. It can also state what rules and punishments the submissive can receive when and if they break the rules.
- Scene :- This is used by the BDSM community to describe the scenario you are engaged in. It can be used to describe a role-play scene or used to describe a specific sexual activity. Once the scene is finished many people who enjoy such fetishes like to have everything returned to normals as quickly as possible.
- Aftercare :- This is a term used to describe what happens once a couple finishes a scene. Aftercare is actually essential to a healthy relationship of this type. It allows both partners to wind down. It also helps couples deal with and discuss any emotions that have occurred in the scene. This also offers the perfect opportunity for couples to discuss what they enjoyed or did not enjoy. This is also the opportunity to suggest taking things further in future scenes.
- Kink and Fetish :- These are simply things that people find attractive, enjoy of find sexually stimulating. Kinks and fetishes are extremely varied and can include things such as behaviors, outfits, body parts, objects, and places.
It is certainly pointing out at this point in this DDLG beginner’s guide that partners who engage in DDLG role-play and relationships will often use words more appropriate to their character. In most cases such words and phrases will be very similar to those used by a child. Here are a few examples.
- Blankies : – Blankets
- Jammies :- PJs / Pyjamas
- Nom Noms :- Food
- Stuffies :- Stuffed Cuddly Toy
- Binkie / Paci :- Pacifier
- Sippy :- A Childs Sippy Cup
Obviously these are just a handful of examples of terms and phrases that may possibly be used. However, with that said it is important to point out it is entirely up to the individual or couple as to which words and phrases are used. There is always the option of not using any of these. The whole point is that you are free to explore what will shape your own DDLG experience.
When people first learn about DDLG they can very well be forgiven for assuming this is a fetish which can only be explored as part of a consensual couple. However, there are many people who enjoy exploring this fetish on their own. This DDLG beginner’s guide would actually recommend newcomers to this fetish experiment on their own a little first. When you are new to something like this it is always easier to trying being a Little when you are on your own.
The Daddy Dom and Mommy Dom roles are not so easy to experiment with on your own. They simply do not work that well if you do not have a Little to care for.
Little’s on the other hand can quite easily explore various aspects of DDLG on their own. They can certainly try playing with toys, early bedtimes, and various other acts associated with the Little role-play.
There is no harm whatsoever in exploring DDLG on your own. If you feel DDLG may be something that is of interest to you experimenting on your own is a great way to test things without making a full commitment as part of a couple. If you find you enjoy your solo play then you may feel it is something you to share. On the other hand you may find that this is not for you. If that happens to be the case then no one will know but yourself.
This DDLG beginner’s guide has covered quite a lot about this popular fetish. However, like everything in life, there is much more to this than a simple DDLG beginner’s guide which covers only the very basics.
Feel free to comment any questions you have and check back if you are interested in this and other forms of fetish based relationships.
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